in2 the cooper chronicles

My family absolutely porked me and forced dog ownership upon me once more. I fought the good fight. I listed all the cons that are intrinsic to doggie ownership and was still roundly defeated at the table of family democracy. Well folks I can tell you that from here on out my home is gonna be a fucking dictatorship when it comes to decision making.

Any way as I type this entry the 9 week yellow lab is asleep approximately  ten feet from me. His name is Cooper. He has in my opinion come to the decision that I kind of suck. Now before you go all “I’m with the puppy ” let’s be clear why pup is hating on the Alfie.

Alfie the one whom didn’t want this fucking thing in my home in the first place has been the one that has been the go to guy in its care,amusement and maintenance . So yeah I guess I’d hate they guy who whisked me away like a foot ball outside whence I was trying to lay a creamy log on the kitchen floor. I guess the guy that checks for ticks and fleas deserves scorn. Now I’ll give him that I’m a big proponent of crate training and leash walking. I have to say though…fuck him! First of all he isn’t being given leash corrections per se since his size and age don’t warrant its effectiveness. As for the crate this little fucker has excelled at creating “dens” wherever he goes. the cutest one of these was the empty bottom shelf of one of our bookcases. The killer is once he’s in his crate he’s quiet calm and “yaawwwnnn” nighty night. Getting there is the issue and sorry folks after a day of earning vet,bleach,food and human costs cash it gets to the point where Alfie is like “Yaawwwnnn” and wants to hit his crate too.

So it begins. On one hand he has dialed in2 inside isn’t the toilet. “Sit“. And “mmm if I sit and stay calm the food bowl comes down” I likie !

The flip is outside he thinks “I shit where I please”. “Leash? I don’t need no stinkin’ leash”!

I don’t like Coopers chances.

Stay tuned.



  1. Rutherford says:

    LOL my friend the fact that you got overruled in the first place tells me YOUR chances aren’t very good. You’ll end up getting ejected before Cooper. I don’t recall if you have any kids and of what ages but this could turn into a good lesson in responsibility for him or her.

    Hang in there … in no time you’re gonna end up begrudgingly loving that dog. 🙂

  2. Raji says:

    Awww! The Cooper Chronicles should be fun at least for the rest of us . Invest in a bag of mini dog treats and always have some in your pocket 😉

  3. Victoria says:

    Alfie – you are SOOL – I’ve seen the pup, he’s adorable and he’s going to make it his life’s mission to be your best buddy. Good Luck!

  4. Yellow Labs are awesome Alfie! You do hunt do you not..? If not, you may have a rough time… But, I digress!

    Keep us all posted on “The Cooper Chronicles.”

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