What is the carbon footprint of a burning liberal ?

I’m curious if anyone has an answer. I can’t seem to get any of the online calculators to work.

My dilemma is whether cremating liberals is better than just letting them decomp the old fashioned way.The age old ashes to ashes or return to the earth thing.For the sake of the polar bears and other global littoral denizens dumping them into the ocean is out of the question.

The furnace could conceivably be united with a power generation scheme and be beneficial to many. The decomp feeds worms but requires either the acceptance of methane production and odor issues and/or the use of chemicals.That seems counterproductive to a green regimen.

See my problem? Help me out. Which way to go? The oven or the shovel?



  1. Elric66 says:

    The oven, I would hate to poison the earth

  2. Dump them on the ice flows, and feed the poor Polar bears…

  3. jonolan says:

    If buried, would they be embalmed?

    From a purely greenhouse gas standpoint, the methane produced during decomposition would likely have a higher greenhouse effect than the CO2 emitted by burning them – dependent of course upon what accelerant was used to start them cooking.

    For myself, I think I’d prefer just letting them rot. Once the hair and skin burn off we smell way too much like a pork roast for comfort. The frisson created by the yummy smell emanating from a cooking human body just messes me up too much.

  4. Alfie says:

    So I’m going with burning and we’ll just use one of those fancy furnaces that recaptures it’s own exhaust and aids its own fire. Like the electricity producing trash burning plant that gives NYC some of its electricity.Any escaping carbon footprint stuff will be offset by the removal of the liberals from the food chain and breathing thing. Add to it the loss of Prius and Volvo exhaust its win win. Thanks guys

  5. jonolan says:

    That might work, Alfie. If it’s contained enough, the barbecue smell wouldn’t bug people the way an open pyre would.

    Face it, it might be OK to drool over the thought of burning Liberals, but it’s freaky to start salivating over the actual smell of it…I’d like to avoid that if possible.

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